Jump-Off 79
Written by Jerome Fandor Tuesday, 19 July 2011 08:57
Jump-Off is finally back in XXXX style. Jump-Off 79 has Phantom Judges, Grooms, Jumpers, Websites, Eventers even Phantom Clubs and Shows. Ellen to marry Superman. Malaysia Boleh MayBONK with no AEDS. What a Load of Bull as Equestrian.Com.My's phantom column comes back with this phantastic edition of Jump-Off.
Phantom Judges
Congratulations to the phantom course participants who printed themselves certificates to the Dressage Judges course held in Kuala Lumpur even though they didn’t attend it. The course, which was the first update in many years to be held in Malaysia saw an overrun of Certificates, which embarrassingly for the staff, was noticed by all the actual participants. These phantom participants will be your phantom judges from now on.
Phantom Grooms
In a similar category to Phantom Judges are Phantom Grooms who get accredited for major games when no horses have traveled.
Phantom Jumpers
"Who cares how you jump as long as you clear the fence." - The statement by EAM’s Head Honcho as to why there were no Showjumping Equitation classes at UTM show.
And in immediate contradiction is that the EAM is organizing a Showjumping Equitation Judges Course in August 2011, to train independent judges. Jump-Off wonders if Mr Honcho will be attending the course or if he will be issuing himself a phantom certificate.
Phantom Website
Ten months after the EAM AGM where it was announced to Peter Abisheganaden's great surprise that he was revamping the EAM website, Pete says he still knows nothing about what is happening. He submitted a proposal after AGM for the job that they had announced he was doing, but has not officially heard back.
Phantom Eventers
Five years after winning a bronze medal at the Doha Asian Games and a year after becoming the first country to defeat Thailand in their own Kingdom, Malaysia’s Eventers have scattered to the four winds. Husref Jeremiah rides BMWs nowadays. Amir Zulkefle has moved to Singapore. Mohd Aizat, Rueven Ravindra and Lukman Hakim have turned to the racing industry for employment and are trying to get licenses as apprentice jockeys.
Grass is always Greener
A three-time Olympian, four- time WEG Eventer and NCAS Level 3 Coach offered to give clinics in Malaysia, ahead of the South East Asian Games. Despite Malaysia’s official insistence that the Eventing program is still in place, his offer was turned down without even a question of what his costs were.
Perhaps it was because no pre-printed certificates were offered?
Premier Waste
Taman Ekuestrian Putrajaya will lay fallow this show season as TEP has cancelled their Premier Cup Series. Not only will there be no shows at the Government built facility, but the Royal Malaysian Polo Association has also cancelled their booking at TEP for the FIP Polo World Cup match that they had hoped to play there because of the poor field condition.
Died of AEDS
Akademi Equestrian Diraja Selangor was closed at the end of March. The precinct will now be known as Taman Equine-less.
Swimming with Sharks
Mary Kate Hassett and her horse Anna decided to take up snorkeling at 3Q Equestrian recently. They dove in together and went for a swim in the pond. Anyone with bikini photos, please submit to
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Best Icy Winter Photo
Swift Dan
Does anyone know Andrea Gardner Finlay from the Singapore Polo Club from 25-30 years back? She is the singer Taylor Swift's mum. When they were in Singapore for Taylor Swift's recent concert there, Andrea visited the club where she learned to ride.
Daniel swears he remembers her.
Ellen Whitaker to marry Superman
English showjumper Ellen Whitaker has got engaged to Superman actor Henry Cavill after he popped the question on a trip to Hollywood.
Punch Drunk
Woman faces jail after punching a police horse in nose. Horses are policemen too!
Smokin’ Fast
A teen with mayonnaise jar full of marijuana found he cannot outrun a police horse. Anyone can tell you that you have a lousy chance of beating a horse, especially if the jar is full. And you have no chance if the jar is empty.
The XXXX Factor
What about the Aussie story that XXXX beer brings horse back from the dead? Apparently XXXX beer was given to a horse after bout of colic. ""I don't know whether I really believed it or not but it was worth a shot and as soon as he had that beer, he burped and perked right up."
Jump-Off thinks that horses that burp is a load of XXXX.
What a Load of Bull
Girl Rides Showjumping Cow
Zack the Showjumping Zebra
Rabbit Dressage
" target="_blank">Camel Pas-de-deux
Not The Equestrian News: MayBONK
Special mention goes to Maybank credit cards, who called ECM's resident dinosaur Peter Abisheganaden to verify if he used his card to make an on-line equestrian purchase. The verification call came at 5:35 am. Being a real rider, the Man was already up, getting ready to ride, so took the call and verified the purchase as correct.
Maybank still blocked his card, even though they okayed the transaction. He found out the hard way, when a later transaction was denied. He had to call their "customer care" line, where the officer who took his call could not explain why they still blocked his card. Instead of an apology, the officer hung up on Pete, earning Maybank this special moment of fame in Jump-Off.
Malaysia Boleh!
Congratulations to Malaysia for organising what the polo world has described at the best FIP Polo World Cup play-offs ever. Check it out:
www.fippolo.my
On Facebook: search for FIP Polo World Cup Zone D Playoffs
Pete's Blog-in-the-garden: Blogging the World Cup
Transitions
Closed: Akademi Ekuestrian DiRaja Selangor, otherwise known to the non-pretentious as Taman Ekuin, has closed.
Congratulations to showjumper Andika Jamaluddin for tying the knot with Dini Sunardi on March 26th 2011.
Gone: Malaysian Eventer Amir Zulkefle has joined the Singapore Turf Club Riding Centre as a Level 1 instructor.
Moved: Former Bukit Kiara Polo Pro Shaffik Mustaffa has made the big move over to Royal Selangor Polo Club, where he now works for Ranhill Polo and La Boheme.
Returned: Farrier Purushotthaman Selvaraju has returned to Malaysia after five years in Singapore.
