Jump-Off 76
Thursday, 31 December 2009 11:08
It's Business Before Pleasure in this supersized Hoar of a Jump-Off. The Thrilla in Manila threatens Asean Solidarity, a judge and jury that can't give Mellow Yellows or a Straight Red, more Sucky Sukma, and some Bute arguments. Martina Hingis falls for Malaysia, while Madonna has no rides. Also featured is Katie's Cross Dresser and the secret videos of Qabil Ambak.
"Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure." ~ Bertrand Russell
Business Before Pleasure
“The 1st South East Asian Equestrian Championships has been postponed to 15 -21 February 2010 to enable more participation by countries wishing to compete on their own horses.” Read – “South East Asian countries are not committed to support the South East Asian Equestrian Championships.”
The last team to compete internationally for Malaysia did so at the European Open Endurance Championships. They are said to have travelled by business class on Malaysian Airlines. Yet the EAM, with allegedly millions in their undisclosed finances, says they have no budget to send teams to the South East Asian Championships.
Presidential Stay
And the Thrilla in Manila continues. The Philippines Equestrian Federation Presidential crisis remained deadlocked after some disgruntled members secured a temporary restraining order (TRO) which disrupted a scheduled election in November. It was reported that Philippine Olympic Committee president Jose Cojuangco Jr. will stay as chief of the Equestrian Association of the Philippines (EAP) temporarily.
Presumably with a view of making it permanent.
ASEAN Solidarity
Unlike the Philippines, Malaysia has no Presidential crisis. Despite Haresh Deol’s premature ejaculation in the Malay Mail, Datuk Seri Dr Jamaluddin Jarjis, Malaysia’s Ambassador to USA, has not resigned and thus remains president of the Equestrian Association of Malaysia.
His lackeys committee members, despite no EAM elections since 2005, cannot understand why he is referred to with the silly acronym “PFL”, which Cojuangco should note, stands for President For Life.
Mellow Yellow
In a remarkable display of restraint, no yellow cards were shown by an FEI International Judge at a routine CSI show in Thailand. Remarkable, because he was shot the finger by an eliminated rider and publicly called disparaging names by a prominent coach who stormed into the arena during the prize-giving of the main event.
Judge and Jury
While that foreign Judge may not have brought his yellow cards to that CSI show in Thailand, he is said to have carried his own MCP Drug Testing Kits in his suitcase. The competitors had been told there would be no MCP testing – read “Free-for-All” and so there might have been a few cold shivers when the testing kits came out of his suitcase. He must have been persuaded that they were not required, as the kits returned to their suitcase.
And No Straight Reds
At the second CSI show in Thailand, a young star is alleged to have played football with his horse's legs after being disappointed in the ring. The referee and linesmen didn't choose to see the incident, so no red cards were flashed at the footballer either.
Sucky SUKMA – Part 2
Not content with building dressage arenas of the wrong size and suggesting riders use lunge rings for warm-ups, SUKMA Malacca has taken it further. They posted a tender notice for the supply of a set of show jumping fences. Except that their specifications listed American type fences designed for the Hunter circuit of North America. Lots of stone walls, chimneys, roll tops, flower trays and non-FEI steel cups with pins.
Remarked one scallywag, “They must think Malacca is somewhere in Texas.”
Sucky SUKMA – Part 3
The sports officers running SUKMA presumed that the showjumping fence set that they are purchasing for the games comes with “installation” for the competition. No course designer has yet been appointed for the” installation work.” Jump-Off presumes they will need someone with experience in installing chimneys.
Passport Cleaners
Equine Infectious Anemia is a viral disease for which there is no vaccine and no cure. So what do you do when a horse tests positive for Equine Infectious Anemia? Why, just destroy the old passport and get it a new passport that is clean as a whistle. Surely there is noT onE Federation that would ever do that, is there?
It’s a Bute
The FEI has backed off on the reintroduction of NSAIDs in equestrian sport. It’s a Bute of an argument that has dealt Princess Haya's FEI’s Clean Sport campaign a headshot that has already TKO’d one FEI executive, David Holmes.
Solo Polo
The Big 3 Polo Kingdoms, Great Britain, USA and Argentina, pulled out of the Federation of International Polo as they believe that the FIP should be part of their fiefdom. They forced the resignation of FIP President Patrick Guerrand Hermes, who had fought for polo’s inclusion to the World Equestrian Games and the reinclusion of polo to the Olympics. The Big 3 hold a disproportionate number of votes in FIP’s arcane voting structure that threatens polo’s acceptance by IOC, which requires a democratic world governing body. They then rejoined FIP after Guerrrand-Hermes' resignation.
Asian Games Seedings
The 16th Asian Games (www.gz2010.cn/en), part of the worldwide Olympic movement and governed by the Olympic Council of Asia will use cloud seeding and other scientific measures to eliminate rain during next year’s Opening and Closing Ceremonies. Judges will use a newly Thai-tested method of not ringing the start bell to keep top seeds from starting the showjumping events.
Ace Jumper
Tennis star Martina Hingis put her show-jumping skills on display at the Gucci Masters in Paris. A refusal and a fall meant that she double-faulted to lose that game. Martina’s next big match may be at the KL Grand Prix in March 2010.
No Bareback For Madonna
Like Martina, superstar Madonna cannot ride horses. Her insurance policy will not allow it while she is on tour. The pop superstar fell off in April this year while riding in the Hamptons, New York, and injured her back after her horse was reportedly spooked by paparazzi.
Katie's Cross-Dresser
Our favourite future Olympic dressage rider Katie Price's has named her new horse Cross-Dresser. The £170,000 Dutchbred is said to be named after her on-again off-again cage fighter boyfriend Alex Reid, who 'Is A Cross-Dresser Called Roxanne'
House of Hoarers
Katie Price, aka Jordan, has called in police over sinister threats to kill her beloved Cross Dresser. A maniac has sent four letters branding her a "slag" and a whore - which was mis-spelled "hoar" - and vowing to slash all her eight animals, including her dressage horse Cross Dresser. Whether he meant Alex Reid is unbeknownst.
Rival Olympic dressage competitors were not suspected as Katie isn’t considered to be a rival, or um, even a dressage rider.
Zara makes a splash at Tattersalls
It was an early bath for Zara Philips as she landed in the drink at Tattersalls International Horse Trials, in Ireland, which was an FEI World Cup Eventing qualifier. Here's Zara carefully testing the water temperature for her horse. Zara was recently in TLOTB, where she gave an exclusive riding exhibition. No water jumps were present.
Hermaphrodite Headache
A racehorse in Sydney, Australia, has been revealed to be a hermaphrodite or intersex mare. Trainer Les Kosklin told local newspapers that, following a convincing win in a harness race at Bankstown, a swab test on the promising four-year-old had detected elevated levels of testosterone.
Racing stewards asked the Newcastle Equine Centre to examine the mare and officials raided Mr Kosklin's Newcastle stables in search of evidence of doping. A reproductive specialist confirmed the mare, Tuscan Abbe, had internal testes, which were producing the large amounts of testosterone and the presence of a male Y chromosome.
Donkey Bra
If you start seeing bras everywhere, you might not be going crazy, after one man adapted the lingerie for his donkey.
Drink-Riding Conviction
An Australian has lost his driving license for riding his horse while drunk. He’d been told not to ride his horse home from the pub. He must have said he could ride, but then again, every beginner says that.
He must have been caught by this radar-bearing cop.
Featured Websites:
Qabil Ambak's Youtube Videos http://www.youtube.com/user/qabilambak
Transitions
10th Anniversary: Equestrian.Com.My celebrated a decade of existence on 18th August 2009.
Appointed: Dato’ Sri Hj Mahammad Fathil has been appointed chairman of the Malaysian Equine Council.
Births: Congratulations to to Titien Irvianty and Roy Ibrahim on the birth of their third child, Fabian Arya Ibrahim, born in Jakarta at 8:51 am on 18th September 2009.
Births: Congratulations to Bukit Kiara's Polo Manager Shaffik Mustaffa and Katarina Kotlebova on the birth of their first child, a son, Mathias on 30th August 2009.
Listed: FEI International Course Designer and ECM's Head Honcho Peter Abisheganaden was put on the international list of FEI Course Presenters for Intro and Level 1 course design seminars.
Moved: SEA World Cup Jumper Jennifer Chang has decided to commute from Hong Kong to England instead of Malaysia. Her horses have gone to Michael Whitaker’s yard in Yorkshire.
Opened: Zack's Tack has opened a second saddlery store in Sri Hartamas, Kuala Lumpur, becoming the first saddlery to have two stores in Malaysia.
Recovering: Josef Ullmer of U Ranch, Indonesia, from angioplasty.
Vale: Dr Marcus Lim tragically passed away in a diving accident off Mersing. The Penang-born ophthalmologist was a polo player and a committee member of the Singapore Polo Club.
Wed: Congratulations to 2001 SEA Games dressage gold medalist Abdul Salim Fazlay and Ariaty who tied the knot on 18th December 2009
