Why are the Whitakers desperately searching for Ulla's Vet? When is testosterone not a performance enhancer? When you should not jump an alternative? All these answers and more in Jump-Off XXIII.
Jump ‘Em, Jump ‘Em All!
Congrats to Husref Malik who was so hyped to do the Adelaide CCI Four-Star that he and Tex not only jumped the straight route at fence 22 but went on to do the alternative as well. What the heck, if you are crazy enough to jump four-star cross-country fences, you might as well jump them all. Go Hus!
Whitakers Search For Ulla’s Vet
There is also no evidence that Rusty received a specific competitive advantage as a result of the administration of the prohibited substance (Testosterone) which - according to the PR's vet - was connected to a legitimate medical procedure.” FEI Judicial Committee Press Release – FEI Press News 36/03.
The “legitimate medical procedure” they are referring to is apparently treatment for “hair loss.” If you believe the defense put up by the now ex-World Cup Champ, Rusty was shot up with Testosterone by her vet, without her knowledge, just before the World Cup Final, to combat recent “hair loss.”
Yes, that’s right, hair loss.
Jump-Off has heard that John and Michael Whitaker are now looking to secure the services of Ulla’s famous vet to combat their own not-so-recent hair loss. They just want to know if the Testosterone can come in a pint glass.
No Competitive Advantage
“There is also no evidence that Rusty received a specific competitive advantage as a result of the administration of the prohibited substance.” FEI Judicial Committee Press Release – FEI Press News 36/03.
Jump-off is simply not convinced that while 25 mg of Testosterone in the blood is enough of a performance enhancer to disqualify racehorses, it only works on “hair loss” in World Cup dressage horses.
If you believe that, we’ll give you an advance on next week’s FEI Dressage spin: “Viagra Cures Stiffness”
Equestri-Oh-No
The Singaporean Young Rider who recently did so well on the Malaysian circuit was expected to star at the superbly-named Equestriana 2003, the main (read: only) show of the Singapore Horse Show season. Obviously unfocused entering the arena, she was all laughter and light. There wasn’t much to laugh about later as first she forgot the jump-off course in the 90 cm class, then in the big class (all of 105 cm) she turned the wrong way after the last fence and crossed her tracks before the finish line.
Jump-Off can understand that in the Land of the Blind it’s quite hard to read course plans.
Heavenly Horse Show
Following Jump-Off XXII’s Course Designer jokes, we have this contribution from FEI Official Course Designer and Sydney Olympic Games Co-Course Designer John Vallance.
One day in heaven, Saint Peter, Saint Paul and Saint John were standing around near the horse paddocks watching the horses frolic.
“I am certainly bored,” stated John. “Me too,” Paul chimed in.
Peter stood and watched the horses. "I know!" Peter began. "Why don't we have a horse show?" Paul and John thought that the idea was great except for one small detail that Paul pointed out. "Who are we to compete against, Peter?" Paul asked.
The trio pondered a moment when Peter realized the answer. "We will call up Satan and invite him to the horse show. I mean, we have all of the finest horses here in heaven, all of the World and National Champions are here. His stable is ridden with the spoiled, difficult and mean horses. We are certain to win at the show!"
And so the trio calls up Satan on the other realm communication lines and invited him to their horse show. Satan laughed and asked why they would want to be humiliated like that, because he would certainly beat them.
Peter, Paul and John did not understand. "What do you mean Satan?" Peter asked. "We have all of the National and World Champion horses in our stable in heaven. How could you possibly beat us?"
Satan paused a moment and then laughed. "Have you forgotten so soon gentlemen? I have all the judges and course designers!"
To read previous editions of Jump-Off, click on the links below:
Jump-Off XXII - 25 October 2003
Jump-Off XXI - 1 October 2003
Jump-Off XX - 1 September 2003
Jump-Off XIX - 12 August 2003
Jump-Off XVIII: Not-The-Equestrian Awards - 17 July 2003
Jump-Off XVII - 14 June 2003
Jump-Off XVI - 24th May 2003
Jump-Off XV - 25th April 2003
Jump-Off XIV - 31st March 2003
Jump-Off XIII - 6th March 2003
Jump-Off XII - 12th February 2003
Jump-Off XI - 16th January 2003
Jump-Off X - 12th December 2002
Jump-Off IX - 14th November 2002
Jump-Off VIII - 19th September 2002
Jump-Off VII - 6th September 2002
Jump-Off VI - 13th August 2002
Jump-Off V - 2nd August 2002
Jump-Off IV - 15th July 2002
Jump-Off III - 27th June 2002
Jump-Off II - 20th June 2002
Jump-Off I - 14th June 2002
Other fun:
Rodrigo to ride for Malaysia
Jump-Off's New Years Resolutions - 29th December 2002
Selling Terms
Thanks to all contributors to this edition of Jump-Off. You know who you are, and we know who you are. No one else does or ever will, unless you’d like them to. If you have a story that you think should be in Jump-Off, please send an e-mail to jumpoff@equestrian.com.my
